Sometimes we wish
our lives away. We may not do this consciously but from time to time, almost all
of us wish for the end of the day, for the weekend to arrive, for a child’s
stage to be finished, for a semester to be over, or we just wish to be done with
a certain event. Then while we wish for the future to hurry up and arrive, we
also lament how quickly time flies. Having trouble with time management? Perhaps
the way we think has something to do with it. Here are a few more thoughts on
the matter.
·
There is anxiety between now and the
future. The future can be scary.
When we think about future events, we are considering the “unknown”. This opens
up a world of possibilities. While some of us think about the good
possibilities, others consider all the possible disasters.
This is where the optimists and pessimists go their separate ways. One
way to manage our thoughts is to focus on what we want to have happen.
Our minds are very powerful navigation systems which can lead us either toward
our goals or off course “on a wild goose chase”.
·
Reflecting on the past can be joyful or
depressing. Thinking about the
past, we can recall fond memories of pleasant experiences, or we can open up
the floodgates to a barrage of
self-criticism. Looking back, we
can compliment ourselves on things we have done right, or we can use this
opportunity to harp on our mistakes. A variation on this theme is the tendency
to use the past as a yardstick for perfection (for example,” the holidays used
to be perfect”) which makes it difficult if not impossible for all future
holidays, events or performances to measure up.
·
Both the past and the future are
distractions from the here and now.
When we focus too much on the past, it’s like trying to drive forward while
looking in the rear view mirror. Similarly, when we’re preoccupied with the
future, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment, making it easier to
stumble and fall. Even when we are physically present, it is easy to be mentally
absent and miss out on important events.
·
Why is it so uncomfortable to focus on
the here and now? Although most of
us deny it, many Americans have trouble relaxing. We are impatient, driven,
competitive, and seldom have enough hours in the day. When we’re told to relax
(even by our loved ones), it’s easy to become suspicious or defensive, saying
things like “I am relaxed”. When we ourselves decide to relax, we may
unconsciously coach ourselves to “hurry up and relax” lest we take too much time
and fall behind schedule.
·
For many reasons, it is good to focus on
what’s happening now.
From time to time, I have been known to trip and fall, over my own feet, going
down stairs, going up stairs or just walking across a room. Usually this occurs
when my body is in motion and my mind is somewhere else. Some folks may put down
their keys, only to spend hours later searching to find them again. Others may
seem to be constantly on the move, too busy to stop and smell the roses. Later
on, these same folks often regret having lost valuable opportunities to talk,
listen, play, or otherwise enjoy the gifts we give and receive from other
people.
Perhaps the real trick to time
management lies in our ability to think carefully. Our abilities to look forward
and backward in time are mental tools which we can use judiciously.
Our sensory functions allow us to fully experience what’s happening now.
Rather than wish our lives away, perhaps we should take enough time to enjoy the
people we love and do things that make us feel good, and be more aware of when
our thoughts about the future or the past are running or ruining our lives.
©Copyright, 2011, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
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