From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Wrapping Up. . . and Starting Anew

December... what a month! All within the same 31 days, there are family gatherings, gifts to buy (or make), erratic schedules, excitement, disappointment, extra work, and time off. To combat some of the problems associated with holiday stress, this article suggests a few ways to de-stress your holidays. Just a few thoughts on the matter...

The holidays are supposed to be fun. As adults, we often lose sight of how to have fun. Women, in particular, take a lot of responsibility for being sure that others have fun, but often forget to enjoy these times themselves. Rather, we worry about everyone else. Unfortunately, worry doesn’t help. More often, it backfires and the one who tries the hardest, usually gets blamed for making others feel "up-tight".
The holidays are a shared experience. This is a great time to practice our delegation skills. Make a list of the tasks and share the responsibilities. This allows others to feel good about their contributions, and takes the burden off of the overly-responsible family member. However, remember the golden rule of delegation...just as you want others to appreciate your efforts, you must also appreciate theirs. So even if their contribution doesn’t meet up to your standards, your praise and appreciation of their effort is a must!
The holidays can be a time to "let down" and relax. It is often said that holidays are for children.... so this holiday, why not let "the little child inside of you" have fun. Remember how it feels to be playful and allow the excitement to take over. Toss out the practiced scripts, the shoulds, and the musts, and enjoy yourself. Holidays need not become a chore.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect. Rather, the holidays are a time to be close with others and grateful for togetherness. This year, some people will be missing from our holiday table, and some new people will join us. This is both cause for sadness and joy. As time passes on, families change in shape and size. Holidays have a certain heritage about them, but each holiday celebration is also a brand new beginning.
Take time to think about next year. If you get to feeling lost in the haze of the holidays, look forward a few weeks. The future is right around the corner. Think of ways to improve your life in the year to come. The holiday season is a great time to relax before the new year. Be sure and take time for yourself.

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Last Updated February 27, 1999 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.