From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Sexual Health: Important Concerns

Sex is everywhere. It is difficult to turn on television, go to a movie or read anything these days without being exposed to sexuality. As fiction, sex between consenting human adults is usually portrayed as a perfect human experience. But in reality, sexual dysfunction and embarrassment plague many relationships. Here are a few thoughts on the matter.

There are many Physical Causes of Sexual Dysfunction. Almost half of sexual complaints can be attributed to physical causes. Disease often inhibits the body's ability to respond naturally. Therefore, the onset of sexual dysfunction is a good reason to have a thorough medical check-up. Family Practice physicians, Urologists and Gynecologists are the first physicians to visit. If your doctor is uncomfortable with the subject, definitely get a second opinion.
Medications and Alcohol play a role. A wide variety of medications can inhibit sexual functioning. If you've noticed a change in sexual desire or functioning, discuss possible side effects of medications with your doctor. Alcohol, while often serving to relax, is also a depressant which affects normal responses. When alcohol is used chronically, it can impair blood circulation and the central nervous system, both of which are vital to normal sexual responsiveness.
Poor sexual relationships may be damaging. Sex is a very sensitive issue. Sexual partners who are critical or intimidating often create doubt and self-consciousness in their partners. This can lead to a form of stage-fright. When sex becomes an interpersonal weapon, the scars can be long-lasting. If one's partner is critical, he or she may be bad for your mental health.
Early childhood experiences can spoil mature love relationships. Sexual abuse of children is a national disaster. Unfortunately, it is not a new phenomenon. My practice is filled with many individuals who suffered sexual abuse as children or who were hurt in sexual relationships during their teenage years. Later on in life, these scars can resurface and permanently affect one's attitude toward sex. Through therapy with a well-trained counselor, these painful memories can be healed.
Sex is a vital part of marital relationships. Sex is that bond which creates the greatest sense of intimacy in a relationship. It is often regarded as the most important bridge that connects two people. When it is lacking, members of that relationship often grow apart, feel unloved or feel rejected. To maintain marital closeness, it is imperative that partners be sexually compatible.

The role of love, affection, sexuality and intimacy cannot be overestimated in a relationship. Counselors who are specifically trained in marital and sexual relationships are credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) or the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).

We live in a time when the media bombards us with images of flawless sexual experiences; in reality, however, sex is not flawless. We live in a time when there are great expectations for life-long sexuality; in reality, however, there is far too little education about maintaining sexual health. No question... sex is important. So if its a problem, you owe it to yourself and to your partner to seek help.

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Last Updated October 17, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.