From Dr. Jane's Notebook

The Loss of a Pet

I lost my best friend, Zeke, this week. Zeke was my Australian Shepherd. For 10 years, he was my companion, my protector, my exercise enthusiast, my loyal and loving dog. He's irreplaceable to me now, just as I was always irreplaceable to him. What words can express the sadness and loss when you lose a furry family member long before his time?

The Loss of a Pet is a great Loss. No words can describe the incredible warmth and that deep feeling that comes from the hug, the lick, the bark of a friend who is always there. In each waking moment, there is company. Whether one is afraid of the dark, dreading household drudgery, or simply relaxing... pets offer a warm body, and round-the-clock partnership. When that partnership is over, a gaping hole is left in one's heart and life.
Life offers rare opportunities for such closeness. Dogs really do make the best therapists! They love with unconditional positive regard, they are sympathetic when we cry, and they never care how we are dressed. They are devoted without question, and available without complaint. The best cure for loneliness, indeed. They dedicate their lives to us, their waking and their lying down... a friend who approves of your every gesture and quirk.
Take time to Mourn. We are never adequately prepared for death, even when we know it is coming. Even after the earthquake of their loss, shock waves in the aftermath are guaranteed. I constantly catch myself looking for pets in their "old places", longing to find them there.

In the effort to heal, create some sort of ceremony for the funeral. Funerals can be family affairs or private moments. In our family, pictures are treasures and more than one collage has been created as a mourning exercise. Recently, a lock of Zeke's hair was buried in the woods of Lake Brandt, one of our favorite hiking spots.

Know that you can love again. A friend of mine once told me that she always has three dogs, so that two can serve as back-ups in case something happens to one. For those of us who know the devoted love of a pet, we also recognize that there's a permanent spot in our lives for a furry friend.

At the time of this writting, I've written more than 80 articles for the Hamburger Square Post over the past seven years. This is perhaps the most difficult and painful subject, to date. Its like the song, "Mister Bojangles". I still can't get past the line where Bojangles talks "how his dog and him travelled about... dog up and died...after twenty years he still grieves."

This summer when we were out of town, Zeke defended our house against a burglar and saved us from a break-in. To anyone who questions the value of loving an animal... The question is not a matter of how much it costs to have dogs, but the recognition of how much they give us in return. Thank you, Zeke.

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Last Updated October 25, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.