From Dr. Jane's Notebook

This Holiday Season...

Its here again! The holiday season is about to take over our lives. Often things get out of control. Gift budgets are exceeded. Nerves are frayed. Holiday cheer never quite meets up to expectations. If you're hoping for a successful holiday season this year, here's some food for thought.

Identify your goals for the holidays. What is important to you? What do you want to have happen? Thinking back through holidays of the past, remember those that were especially meaningful to you. Consider what made them so special and try to include those elements in this year's plans.
Identify important people in your life. We are often trapped into spending time with people we really don't like. Although it is important to satisfy family obligations, consider including other people in your holiday plans, as well. Friends, teachers, neighbors and others may be important sources of support in your life. This is a great time of year to let them know you care about them.
Give gifts from the heart. It is not always feasible to buy gifts for all those we care about. This year, instead of thinking about purchasable items, consider good deeds which you can do for others. Write a letter to someone and tell them know how you feel about them. Help them with a chore. Spend time visiting. Think of something that they would appreciate.
Change your image in your family. If you wish, you can change your image within your family. Develop a new personality or lifestyle and don't be afraid to introduce your new ideas. Relatives often think of us in one way (an outdated image). If you wish to change how they perceive you, let them know you're changing and be proud of your new decisions. You may get criticism at first, but it will change as you become more sincere in your new actions.

The holidays can be times of fun and joy, or times of loneliness, disappointment and dread. Most of what we dread is that holidays will turn out badly. For this reason, it is important to take control of the holiday season and enter it with a purpose and philosophy.

In short... take hold of the reigns and steer your sleigh in a positive direction. This month can be a time for reliving old traditions or starting new ones. You can decide how and where to spend this important time of the year!

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Last Updated November 14, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.