From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Marriage The Second Time Around

The fallout from divorce is like the tide of the ocean. It returns in continuous waves--- constantly leaving its mark on the sand and yielding a variety of surprises. While divorce is usually entered into as the solution to a problem, many more long-range problems are the actual result.

In my practice, I work with couples of all ages who are veterans of first marriages, and who would like to make it "work" on their second or third "go-rounds", but the task is not an easy one. Here are a few thoughts on the matter.

Successful marriage requires a "course" in problem-solving and communication. As long as both partners are willing to participate, it is possible to "pass with flying colors". But if there is no democratic process, just a game with one set of rules (his or hers), someone will feel they are losing... and then both will lose the relationship. Remarriage is a different ballgame, but if entered into with an open mind and open communication, it is possible to win BIG!

ęCopyright, 1991, 1995, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.

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Last Updated October 17, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.