From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Super-Motherhood

In the quest to achieve super-motherhood, some women today have achieved the balance between raising children and managing their careers, by establishing their professional offices in their homes. This is a brilliant solution to a difficult problem. It offers many advantages in terms of childcare, travel time, and overhead office expenses...but also carries with it, a number of potential hazards. In an atmosphere where "the office never closes," the following ideas may prove useful...

Each day requires a clear plan of action. When work and personal life share the same space, clear boundaries must be drawn in terms of priorities. It is critical that personal distractions not be allowed interfere with business accomplishments. Calendars, lists of "today's goals," and follow-through with those plans, are most important.
Draw clear physical boundaries. The people you live with must respect the boundaries between office and home, in spite of their overlap. This may require rules and policies such as: "No toys in the office, Don't interrupt mom when she's on the phone, The office is not a playroom," etc. This requires a great deal of cooperation on the part of the family, and they may need to be consulted about the benefits they receive by having mom work at home.
Dress appropriately for your business. Clothing provides the distinction between business and personal life. When we are "dressed for success" in our work, we function best... no matter what the appropriate dress code is. Changing clothes also provides a means of shifting gears between work and home and helps to focus on each of those prime directives. When family members recognize the difference between your work and home attire, it helps them know whether you are in fact, at work or at home! Just because you are present, doesn't mean you are available to them.
Organize childcare resources when your children are small. One key to survival, is not being distracted by tasks of motherhood, when you need to concentrate. On the other hand, one of the main reasons for working at home is to be accessible to your children when needed.

I recommend establishing regular childcare hours when a babysitter can come to your home; or sharing childcare responsibilities with a friend. Having tried it both ways, I have found both to be successful.

Years ago, an attorney friend of mine and I shared childcare on half-day bases. I took care of her infant during the mornings; she took care of mine during the afternoons. This way, we both kept our part-time jobs, and our children had plenty of companionship. At other times, I have enjoyed the knowledge that my children were being entertained by babysitters in another part of the house, and I could be their visitor or "at work and off limits!"

Beware of Workaholism! Because you are so close to the office, the danger exists that worklife will take over your personal life. If the office begins to invade your family, complaints may begin and cooperation may diminish. Children are especially sensitive to being upstaged by the telephone when its "their time." Telephone answering services are essential to maintain personal boundaries. To establish a balance, allow family time to be as uninterrupted, as your business time.

The combination of motherhood and career require a complex juggling act. Working at home offers many advantages but is not simple. A friend of mine recounted a story of the morning when she intended to dress before starting her work day, but instead plunged right into her computer and the task at hand... in nothing but her nightie! All was going well at 9 a.m. as she smuggly enjoyed her work in the privacy of her office, just as comfortable as she could be... until the doorbell rang.

It seems that she found herself on the opposite side of a glass door from her clothes, such that if she made a dash for her room, she would undoubtedly be seen by the gentleman at the door. Keeping her cool, she decided not to respond to the doorbell. But the caller was persistent, knowing full-well that her car was in the driveway. An eternity passed before the unknown visitor gave up. When it finally appeared safe, my friend darted for the upstairs room, dressed and then ran back downstairs to flag down the Federal Express driver.

Slightly irritated, he once again carried the two large cartons from his truck, whereupon he asked for her signature... and politely asked no other questions. As luck would have it, he was delivering a gift of a dozen loaves of fresh-baked sourdough bread flown in from her Uncle in California. Even when working at home... timing is everything!

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Last Updated September 27, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.