From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Changes

It is March and I am numb! Most of winter's work is done Sunny days--- I am no fool. Hiding winter storms is cruel. Just beyond the day that's next will come the winter back behexed. But I'll be waiting, coat and gloves, I'll be waiting. Wood and stove, I'll be waiting, no surprise. Old man winter slowly dies.

Sometimes human beings resist change... even when we want change. There's something very comfortable about staying the same...even when that's uncomfortable: changing jobs, moving homes, losing weight, changing habits, and changing relationships. Part of us may want to change... part of us may not, and therein lies the struggle.

Whether for better or for worse, when change is about to take place, it is helpful to keep the following thoughts in mind:

Resistance is a natural inclination. Consider the example of driving down the street, keeping mindful of other cars, with a ready foot for the brake should we need it. Our gut instincts tell us to "survive" and this keeps us on ready alert against danger. We tend to be especially cautious when we travel through unfamiliar areas. As a survival instinct, it seems wise to honor our resistance by remaining on the cautious alert.
Plan ahead for making changes. It is very important to map out the desired changes so that they can be accomplished effectively and as easily as possible. It often helps to make a written plan of action.
Timing and readiness are crucial. It is often better to get a late start, than to have a "false" start. When we force ourselves to do something we are not ready to do, we may feel unsure, insecure, ambivalent or otherwise uncomfortable with our actions. However, if we allow ourselves time to wait until we are ready and perhaps even impatient for change to occur, we feel more certain and confident in our approach.

When we are not ready for change, our task is doubled. We must first overcome our resistance and then accomplish the task. However, if we conquer our resistance ahead of time by planning carefully and waiting until the time is right, we approach change with a greater amount of courage and foresight.

Times of transition... whether they be from winter to spring or a move half way around the world, have a profound effect upon our firm foothold and sense of control over our lives. And so, when trying to put your best foot forward, it is wise to be sure the other foot will follow.

In the house, the air is stuffy, urge to crack the window tells. But surely spider webs are settled and night-time chills will cast their spell. Shall I risk the disappointment if I dare consider spring? Shall I risk the false elation summer thoughts could bring?

Or shall I play it one step wiser. Wear my cap and gloves with pride. Almanac in hand will guide me. Foolish buds---don't bloom beside me. I'll stay the skeptic, you will see how disappointed I won't be when winter storms retake the skies. Old man winter slowly dies.

Return to Personal Growth

Return to Table of Contents

Last Updated October 24, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.