From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Summertime... When the Living is Easy?

August is, by far, my favorite month. For it is during this month that very little is expected of anyone! We're all either on vacation, out of town, at the pool, mowing the lawn...or otherwise inaccessible. August is a month of no meetings and savoring the last precious days of summer. And this escape really couldn't come at a better time, since coincidentally, many of us are experiencing occupational burn-out.

August offers those of us suffering these symptoms, a period of time-out. And beneath this precious shield of privacy, what better time can there be to do something of personal importance for yourself or your family? In short, I recommend that we combat occupational burn-out through family enrichment.

Develop a Family Hobby. In our family, this is the year of tennis so we find ourselves talking racquets, strokes, and court times. It's a new challenge for all.

Whatever the range of ages, and whichever hobby you choose, it's fun to generate new group enthusiasm and common interests.

Steer the course of the family in a positive direction. Tell family members what you want vs. what you don't want...what you expect and what you hope for. It is no fun living with criticism and complaints. Unfortunately, many of us grew up with critical parents and a lack of information, therefore, our self-esteem suffered.

We have the opportunity to change that by providing positive images of the future and working toward them as a family. This may be your year to move to a new house, overcome financial difficulties, begin new parent-child activities or work towards other goals. By discussing these goals as a family, everyone's cooperation and enthusiasm can be enlisted.

Practice Building your own Self-Esteem. We all need encouragement but all too often, we are our harshest critics. To build your own self-worth, practice "giving yourself the benefit of the doubt."

Evaluate your values and personal qualities, instead of your body image or intelligence. Or as a I told a friend of mine recently, consider whether you are generous and kind, well-intentioned and compassionate...instead of whether you look fat or may have said something dumb. Consider whether you are a good friend and whether you would want yourself for a friend.

There are many ways to grow and improve our lives...as individuals, family members, friends, and citizens. We need interpersonal support from each other, and we need to be able to make ourselves feel good too!

As grown-ups we have choices about how we spend our lives, how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves. Herein lies another one of those things that..."our parents never told us."

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Last Updated September 26, 1998 by Gary M. Grandon, Ph.D.