In recent months, several
friends of mine who were born during the great Baby Boom of the late 1940’s and
1950’s have begun talking about their current stage of life. Some describe
themselves as “not ready to retire” in the traditional sense, but also, not
feeling challenged by the same old things. Now in their late 50’s and early
60’s, some are surprised to be alive and some are surprised that they feel young
and healthy. Looking forward to the next 20 years seems to be a surprise that
many did not expect. Here are a few more thoughts on the matter.
Developmentally speaking, early
adulthood offers structure.
After high school and college, most young adults in their 20’s and 30’s
focus on the tasks of finding a life partner, finding suitable work, and
starting a family. Fortunately, this is also a time when we have a lot of
physical energy to accomplish these tasks. Once the ball starts rolling,
life gets busier and busier with each successful step forward.
Middle adulthood offers the
challenge of perseverance.
Many people in their 40’s and 50’s are pushing hard to succeed at work,
while balancing the demands of parenting and marriage. At a time when
incomes are peaking, parents anticipate sending their children to college
with mixed emotions about having an empty nest. At any given moment, family
members may be moving in a hundred different directions with little, if any,
time to relax.
Later adulthood brings the focus
back to our family of origin.
In our late 50’s and 60’s, those who are lucky enough to have living parents
are often called to re-engage with our parents and siblings on a whole new
level. We may begin the process of “parenting our parents” or reconnecting
with siblings after years of separation. Simultaneously, we may become
grandparents. And in spite of our need to work for financial reasons, our
desire to work
hard may begin to
wane.
So what do you want to do for the
rest of your life?
Baby-boomer couples have a giant opportunity to reorganize their priorities
and renew their relationship. Retired spouses can be a great source of
support for working spouses. Couples can renew their sexual relationship,
plan their future, and reclaim their passion for one another. This may be
the time of life that you’ve been dreaming about. If you’ve been working
hard for a long time, here’s your chance to play more.
Our society has made a lot
of progress in the areas of living healthfully. Most of us exercise whether we
want to or not; fewer of us smoke whether we want to or not; and most are eating
healthier whether we’re happy about that or not. Maybe it’s time to stop
dreading the golden years and rethink how it might feel to be less obsessed with
work and more focused on finding fun.
©Copyright, 2012, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
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