From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Fair fighting for lovers

The ability to manage conflict is essential in healthy love relationships. While I often encourage couples to “bring their problems to the table” and brainstorm solutions together, I know this requires a fair amount of trust. We have to trust that we won’t be criticized, scolded or rejected. We have to trust that differences of opinion won’t turn into painful fights. Our love relationships are very precious to us. While there’s no escaping conflict, it is possible to use conflicts constructively. Here are a few more thoughts on the matter.

When children sit down to play a game, they almost always ask each other, “what are the rules?” After all, different people play by different rules. We all bring differences to the table and to our relationships; that doesn’t make one of us right and one of us wrong. In the beginning, we are attracted to each other’s differences. Over time, our differences can continue to keep things interesting!

©Copyright, 2012, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.            

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