For some of us parents, the time of empty nest is upon us. During the early years of marriage and child-rearing, an endless array of child-centered activities provide a lot of structure for married life. There are always things that need to be done. Sadly, once it all gets done and the kids are launched, if your relationship is lacking, the years of empty nest can find you both childless and single. It is never too early to consider what it takes to fortify your marriage. Here are a few more thoughts on the matter.
Companionship is huge. Most men do not like doing things alone. Therefore, it is usually important for couples to do things together. From the mundane to more challenging activities, your value as a spouse may depend on your willingness to be a good friend to your honey. Before marriage, most couples do almost everything together. Then when we become parents, it makes sense to divide up the family labor and household tasks. But don't be fooled into thinking this is a good long-term strategy. People grow closer when they do things together, as seen in relationships between co-workers, exercise buddies, or best friends who interact regularly. So while running errands together may sound simple, it is one way to acquire new shared experiences. The main idea here is to re-engage with each other and remember how to have fun together again.
There's a difference between being married and being part of a well-functioning couple. The status of being married doesn't come with guarantees. Marriage is a partnership between two people who share their thoughts, dreams and decisions about how they wish to spend their time. This can be difficult after many years of cultivating separate careers and friendships. Being part of a couple means deciding together what you want to do for the rest of your life… Just as you did in the beginning when your love was young.
Shifting gears can be uniquely challenging for successful people. Career changes will eventually shift the balance of how we divide our time between work and home. When career changes mean more time at home, spouses must be intricately involved in helping with this transition. This is a time when your mate will need your support, so be aware that it is time to pay attention and reconnect. If possible, drop what you are doing, and go away together for a couple of days. This is a critical time to talk, listen, and reaffirm your connection and your attraction to each other. All people need to feel valued and adored. Take time to share your updated ideas about love and how to rekindle your love life.
If you haven't found your sexuality by now, this is the time to do it. The quality of a couple's intimacy is a huge key to their happiness. Remember how affectionate you were in the beginning, and recommit yourself to sensuality and touch. Talk with your mate about what both of you feel, need and want from each other. Frequent touch and loving words are important both inside and outside the bedroom. Embark on learning about sex all over again. Making love these days requires knowing how to adapt to changing physical bodies. Most couples have a great deal to learn about making love. It's not the same as it used to be; it can be better than ever.
As Baby Boomers retire and refocus their life plans, spouses must recognize that marriages are fragile and cannot be taken for granted. This is a time when if we’re healthy, we are thinking about what to do for the rest of our lives. Once you and your mate get back on the same page and are playing for the same team, the real fun can begin.
©Copyright, 2012, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
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