As we move into 2012, we are reminded that life is
unpredictable and nothing is more certain than change. It is easy to become
angry, depressed, confused, or obsessed when things do not go as planned. With a
new year upon us, it’s a great time to give thought to New Year’s resolutions
that will help us cope and develop better ways to live. Here are a few more
thoughts on the matter.
·
To manage stress, give some
thought to your next job.
There is great pleasure in having a job that you enjoy but sometimes great jobs
come to an end. For this reason, we must continually improve our skills and
invest in ourselves. Career training prepares us to work in different settings,
for different companies, either as employees or to become self-employed. Even
when things are going well on the job, it pays to think ahead and nurture some
alternative ways of earning a living… just in case.
·
Healthy attitudes about
money are a family affair.
Living on a budget
doesn’t mean denying yourself of everything; it simply means planning and
prioritizing your expenses. As we have learned in recent years, money can come
and go with little warning. For most of us, money is a huge source of stress. We
owe it to our children and to ourselves to improve our attitudes and financial
habits as we move into an unknown future. Unfortunately, family relationships
can be damaged when we try to control the flow of money through bossiness
instead of discussion. Even kids need to have some understanding of how
financial decisions are made. Typically, when children are given an
age-appropriate allowance and the opportunity to make their own financial
decisions, they learn more about thriftiness and less about whining.
·
Anger management is
essential at all ages.
In our effort to stave off the growing violence in our world, it has become less
acceptable for people to behave aggressively toward others. Learning to manage
anger is a great New Year resolution for those who struggle with controlling
their temper. The famous psychologist, Dr. Albert Ellis spent more then sixty
years of his life studying anger management. He reminded us that as far back as
the First Century A.D., the philosopher Epictetus said, ‘what disturbs people’s
minds the most is not events but their judgments about those events’.
This
means that when bad things happen, we can easily make matters worse by adding
our own catastrophic thoughts and negative self-talk.
When we feel powerless, we often rationalize that
‘even if we can’t fix the situation, the least we can do is get angry’.
Unfortunately,
anger is an emotion that makes us feel more powerful but fails to solve
problems. Learning better ways to manage anger is an excellent resolution
because frankly, it’s simply not cool to lose your cool anymore.
·
Teach children how to
behave by being a good role model.
As
parents, it is our task to teach our children how to become good citizens of the
world. With increased awareness of bullying, we must teach our children to treat
themselves and others with more respect. This requires methods of discipline
that teach correct behavior rather than demonstrating punishment.
Not long ago, I heard one
grandparent describe her approach to child discipline. In her words, this
grandmother was called to school one day where she heard a barrage of complaints
about her grandson’s behavior. Upon taking him home, she described placing the
young man in time-out. In her house, time-out is a time to get quiet and reflect
on one’s behavior, but rather than isolating the child, time-out involves
placing two chairs in a quiet place where both she and her grandchild sit
together and learn how to calm themselves. Then when both feel cooled down, they
talk about the problem together and brainstorm constructive solutions.
We live in times that are
unpredictable. For this reason, we must remember to live carefully, safely, and
try to become a little bit wiser each day. I wish us all a healthy, happy and
peaceful new year.
©Copyright, 2012, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
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