February is one of those months when we are reminded that we are social
creatures. Human beings usually don’t like to be alone during the holidays.
While we know that being in a relationship is no guarantee of happiness, and
that being single is not the worst thing, Valentine’s Day really seems to rub it
in! For those who are in love relationships or hoping to find one, here are a
few thoughts on the matter.
·
Communication is key.
In the beginning, we are such good listeners. When couples first meet and
experience attraction, communication is the main gateway to most peoples’
hearts. We are attentive, appreciative of differences, tolerant and typically
non-judgmental. Then, if we perceive that it is safe to be ourselves, the
gateway continues to open. This allows more and more of our heart to be exposed.
We call this falling in love, but down the road, just being in love is not
enough. Accurate and loving communication must be practiced every day.
·
Partners depend on each other
for support of their personal growth.
When people meet and relationships begin, we are like trains that have made one
particular stop along our way. Just because we have become emotionally involved
does not mean that our train has parked or permanently stopped. We meet at
various intersections of our lives, but our personal development is never
complete. All of us need to keep growing. Ideally, partners support and
encourage each other to become the very best they can be.
·
Loyalty is essential for
strong relationships. As we go
through changes, transformations and personal evolutions, we need our partner’s
support to cheer us on, and they need to feel included. Problems arise when
partners feel excluded, left out of the loop, and rejected.
When people make the ultimate commitment to spend their lives together,
they are agreeing to make decisions together, to make love together, to keep
each others’ confidences and to help each other through life’s ups and downs. In
other words, it’s all about sharing.
In the great words of Albert Camus, "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my
friend."
Valentine’s Day
comes and goes each year, perhaps leaving behind a flirtation, a disappointment,
or just a reminder that love is important. When romantic love is not there, use
this opportunity to reach out to friends and relatives and remind them that they
are loved and important to you. The expression of affection is never a waste of
words.
©Copyright, 2011, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
Return to Love and Marriage
Return to Table of Contents