The calendar has
begun a new cycle, and as we move into 2011, we are reminded that nothing is
more certain than change. The first decade of the 21st century certainly
challenged much of what we formerly took for granted. In this state of perpetual
change, it is easy to become angry, depressed, confused, or obsessed when things
do not go as planned. Or we can develop new ways to cope. Take a deep breath and
start working on your back-up plan. Here are a few more thoughts on the matter.
·
It’s wise for all people to
have a back up career. There is
great pleasure in having a job that you enjoy but sometimes great jobs come to
an end. Fortunately, when we decide on a career, we are deciding that we are
drawn to a certain type of work, not just a single place of employment. Career
training prepares us to work in different settings, for different companies,
either as employees or to become self-employed. Even when things are going well
on the job, it pays to think ahead and imagine your self pursuing a backup
career, just in case.
·
Even when money is not a
concern, it’s wise to live on a budget.
Living on a budget doesn’t mean denying
yourself of everything; it simply means planning and prioritizing your expenses.
As we have learned in recent years, money can come and go with little warning.
We owe it to our children and to ourselves to improve our financial habits as we
move into an unknown future. Family relationships can be damaged when we try to
control the flow of money through bossiness instead of discussion. Everyone,
including children, needs to feel that they have some amount of understanding of
how financial decisions are made and some amount of spending power. Typically,
when children are given an age-appropriate allowance and the opportunity to make
their own financial decisions, they learn more about thriftiness and less about
whining.
·
Resilience is useful at all
ages. Throughout history, our
greatest heroes have demonstrated the ability to face their challenges and
overcome adversity. As far back as the First Century A.D., the philosopher
Epictetus has been quoted as saying, ‘what disturbs people’s minds the most is
not events but their judgments on events’. In other words, our negative thoughts
can far exceed what has actually happened, making us feel even more horrible.
Often, the key to overcoming our problems is to focus less on the problem and
more on the solution.
·
Avoid confrontations with
strangers. When we have been
insulted, mistreated, or misunderstood, it is easy to get drawn into a fight.
While I am absolutely against bullying, it is vitally important to think before
you react in order to fully consider the intentions of your opponent. All too
often, strangers don’t fight fair.
Not too long ago
while on a driving trip, we stopped for gas at an out-of-the-way gas station.
When I went to pay for some snacks, I handed the cashier a $20 bill and was
given back insufficient change. The cashier argued that I had given him only
$10. As our discussion continued, I began to feel as though my departure was
being stalled and that possibly our car, our wallets or our lives might be in
danger. My husband and I agreed that $10 was a small price to pay for escaping
that situation. In all cases, we must remember that we are vulnerable and it is
easier than we think to get hurt… physically, emotionally, or legally.
We live in
times that are unpredictable. For this reason, we must remember to live
carefully, safely, and teach our children how to make the wisest decisions
possible. Life is short, every day is a gift, and there are no absolute recipes
for success. I wish us all a healthy, happy and prosperous new year.
---Dr.
Jane
©Copyright, 2011, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.
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