From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Your adult children: coming together for the holidays

 It’s a gratifying moment in the life of a parent when adult children return home for the holidays and other visits. Once the “kids” have moved out, parent –child relationships go through a series of changes with each separation and reunion. Initially, we may stand ready to welcome them back by preserving each element of their bedrooms. Eventually, when they really move away and establish their own lives, parents and adult children graduate to a new level in their relationship. Then, some time between when we’re changing our children’s diapers and they’re changing ours, comes the opportunity for adult friendship between parents and their grown children. Here are a few more thoughts on the matter.

In short, the quality of your relationship with your grown up children will likely depend upon your openness to their thoughts and ideas. Most grown children want their parents’ respect and want their parents to be open-minded. If they don’t feel safe communicating their true thoughts with you, they won’t!  Each year, Thanksgiving and all the holidays which follow offer an annual opportunity to rekindle and intensify parent-child relationships. A great deal of pleasure can be found in getting to know your children as grown-up people.  There is always much to be thankful for.

©Copyright, 2009, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.            

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