From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Stress Management through Summer management

One of the problems of aging is getting old. It would help if we had a guarantee of health and happiness… maybe a warrantee on our body parts. While there are a million ways to improve your looks on the outside, it is also critically important to remain (or become) youthful and become even more beautiful on the inside. To improve the way you feel on the inside, consider the following ideas.

It’s okay if you’re not perfect. Who said we have to be perfect all the time? Most of the time, you’re probably trying to do the right thing. So why not do your best and get on with things? Several years ago, a very wise friend of mine helped me to “get over” striving to be perfect when he explained things from an organizational perspective. He said that “when other people start to think you’re perfect, they also start looking for all of your imperfections!” Well that cured me.
Allow yourself to really play! Many times we spoil the games we love when we become obsessed with our score. This can happen in golf, Scrabble, bowling, playing a musical instrument, or just about anything. Somewhere along the line, we stop “playing” and start “performing”. Then, perfection or a winning score becomes more important than anything. Unfortunately when we rob ourselves of the joy of playing just for fun, we turn that joy in to work. To counter this unnecessary loss, I recommend playing by yourself, without keeping score and without judging yourself. Your spirit will be enlivened as you remember what it feels like just to play.
It’s okay to use cues in Su Doku. Like so many others, I am hooked on Su Doku, the number placement puzzles. But am I really alone in allowing myself to peek at the back of the book when I get stuck? Personally, I consider it like buying a vowel in order to solve the puzzle. Su Doku is the wonderful combination of a math game and brain massage. I like the challenge, I like the sense of accomplishment, and I like the repetition. Why would I want to spoil my fun with frustration?
Take some time off every day. Summer’s reputation suggests that it is a time to shift gears, to take life a little slower, to play outside and make the most of our family time. Given the scary and hectic year we have had, I’d like to think of summer as one of nature’s gifts; an opportunity for time off in order to recharge our batteries. Because I am not in charge of the world, we won’t all be getting three months of paid vacation time. We still have to go to work, but we can exercise our freedom and ability to have more fun when we’re not at work.

Shift gears and rebalance your work versus play ratio by making plans for play time after work. Make dates with your spouse, dates with your kids, make a list of family field trips and put them on the family calendar. It is wonderful to be able to work hard in order to support your family, but families also need to recharge their batteries and re-synchronize their knowledge of one another and their relationships. Summer is a great time of year to exercise a different set of muscles, emerge stronger and become well-rounded as a person.

There is another way to stay young on the inside that comes through redefining how we think about ourselves. Not long ago in a television special, my favorite poet Maya Angelou shared one of the secrets of her success. To paraphrase, Dr. Angelou said that ‘every day, she expects to make about 100 mistakes. So imagine how good she feels when at the end of the day, she has only made 86 mistakes!’ She would consider that to be an excellent day!

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