From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Getting married: like starting a new job

In the popular book by Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible,  character Rachel Axelroot states, “…If I had known what marriage was going to be like, I would have tied all the hope-chest linens into a rope and hung myself from a tree”! In my daily work, couples of all ages express similar thoughts. Yet, there remains an ago-old rush to “tie the knot”, even among couples who hesitate.

If you or someone you know is on the threshold of entering or leaving a marriage, consider the following thoughts.

Each of us devotes many years to identifying hopes and dreams for our lives. Sadly, these hopes and dreams are often forfeited when we fall in love. I have always believed that a happy marriage must be composed of people whose hopes and dreams are compatible. To go the distance, the marriage itself must be flexible enough to change and grow over time. Just as we have periodic reviews on the job to assess our performance and determine new goals, it would be helpful to do the same in your marriage. Perhaps we all need to become quality control experts to maximize profits in our personal relationships.

©Copyright, 2002, Jane R. Rosen-Grandon. All rights reserved.

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