From Dr. Jane's Notebook

Qualities of a Good Daddy

You’ve probably heard the old expression, "Anyone can be a father; it takes someone

special to be a daddy". So what’s the difference? As you celebrate Father’s Day this month, consider the following characteristics of highly desirable daddies.

Daddies are safe; they do not violate their childrens’ trust. Basic trust begins the first time a father holds his child. Very soon, the child learns that this is a person who has strong arms, a person who will support and protect them from falling. They learn that Daddy is sometimes tense and uncomfortable, but usually, he is warm and tender. Most importantly, they learn that Daddy is someone they can love without fear of pain or personal intrusion; they can trust that Daddy is a person who will not violate their bodies.

Daddies are a safety net; someone to turn to when things go wrong. While daddies are often stern and definite about their views, this is a person who is there when you need them. Daddies set the standard in life for success, pride, self-confidence, and accomplishment. To a child, the most important features of a daddy are loyalty and unconditional love, not wealth or possession.

Daddies are fun; they like to play with their kids. Daddies were once little boys who explored the world and learned important skills, like bowling, tying knots, and catching bugs.

Daddies are brave and courageous, and they encourage their children to be brave and strong. Daddies are often less interested in neatness, and more interested in having the kind of fun that just happens to result in a mess. Daddies have a unique way of making their children laugh. Best of all, they think their kids are wonderful.

Daddies are teachers; they have carved a road that helps their children see. Children judge the success of their fathers by the role that they play in the family. When dads spend time with their children, kids learn to see the world through their father’s eyes. From Dad, they learn how men are supposed to treat women, they learn how men allocate their time between work and family, and they learn how to cope with difficult situations.

In recent decades, too many children have become the victims of record high divorce rates and abandonment. Sadly, the decision to leave a spouse usually creates life-long havoc in the lives of their kids. It is critical to realize that being a daddy is a life-long commitment to care, and to fill a unique role in your child’s life. It is a sacred responsibility. On this Father’s Day, I’d like to say thank you to all of you Daddies out there. Keep it up!

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